Womanly Wednesday: A Guest Post On Being Authentic

Thanks for stopping by for this week’s Womanly Wednesday!  This is one of my favorite parts of the week where different women bravely and vulnerably share their stories.  Olivia-Grace (aka OG, aka THE OG) is a friend of mine from Davidson College, and even though she’s a year or two younger, I’ve learned so much from her deep, thoughtful , and wise heart.  She is one of the best listeners I’ve ever met and has the most contagious giggle in the whole world.  I LOVE her words here today and am so impressed by the woman she is.  Enjoy! 

We may have never met, but I already care what you think of me.

If you met me today, you’d probably notice my big square glasses and wonder what the heck I’m thinking because I don’t say much. If you’ve known me for a while, you probably know that I’m a raging perfectionist and a scaredy-cat of most things, with a little goofy on the side (thankfully). On my less-than-brave days, I’m self-conscious and nervous around people. Then one of the most well-spoken people I know asks me to write on her blog…oh jeez.

Maybe it’s my height or more likely, my inability to say what I mean, but I often feel small. My life-long goal is to feel comfortable in my own skin. I want to walk in a room and embrace who I am – to look at everyone else and say to myself, “Me! I’d choose to be me out of all of these people!” But sometimes when I walk in the room, I feel like no one sees me at all. I must take some of the blame for feeling unnoticed. I construct big ideas in my head of what others think of me, and often they aren’t true. Nonetheless, being outspoken is a privileged personality trait in our society.

Most of the time, I get the impression that “quiet” is an awful curse. High school parties? I stood in the corner. Class participation? Points marked off. Making friends? Really uncomfortable. Small group at church? My boyfriend legitimately thought I was MUTE because I never shared. Long car rides with people? Awkward silence. In addition, I have a few key memories about how others have made me feel about being quiet. Maybe you’ve had similar ones.

First, I remember interviewing for a summer camp position in college. Toward the end, the camp director said, “You seem timid to me. We need someone who will step up and take over.” I felt so defeated, so small, so inadequate, so misunderstood. With all the boldness I could muster up, I stood up for my leadership abilities and was actually offered the job.

Second, I remember unexpectedly crying in a professor’s office about not being able to speak up in class. She was fairly sympathetic and suggested I reward myself in some way after sharing one idea in class the next time. She assured me that it would get easier. Keep in mind this was my spring semester of my SENIOR year.

Third, I remember being called out in a small group for my Group Dynamics class. I’m already insecure in my program because I am pretty much the youngest student. And then I was in a group with these people to share my feelings? Eek. After the observer listened to our group for a while, she pointed out in front of the whole group that I hadn’t said a word. I’d like to note that I had shared before she entered the room! Again, this quiet thing in my face…all.the.time. I thought that being quiet would be helpful for being a counselor!

It wasn’t until I heard others call the boys I nanny “shy” that I stood up for what could be my ally instead of my enemy: Quiet. These two boys are bright, thoughtful, and meticulous. At one of the libraries, the storyteller says, “Come on up to give me a high-five… if you aren’t shy.” Those boys aren’t worth any less than the other children because they don’t want to give you a high-five, Sir. I always have put “I’m too quiet” on every weakness section of a job or ministry position application. Yet, I would never want the little guys to put “being quiet” on their list of things they would want to change about themselves. So why do I?

But then, a friend came along and called this act of not always speaking “meek” instead of the usual laundry list of synonyms for quiet: weak, shy, cautious, scared, timid, or bashful. Through much encouragement, God began to help me see “quiet” differently. James 1:19 even says to be “quick to listen and slow to speak.” God wants us to be quiet before him, too, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Exodus 14:14 NIV). Believe me, I haven’t mastered this at all. Even though my personality may be inclined to this kind of stillness, I too often choose Netflix, cleaning, and homework instead.

My church has talked about gifts a lot recently. Almost every week, our life group study has a question about our talents. It’s like God’s trying to tell me something, huh? I’m becoming more able to say that “quiet” is a gift (if used well). “…There’s a time to be silent and a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes 3:7). There’s a lesson in that for all of us.

Maybe you’re like me, and you feel unnoticed and lonely sometimes because you don’t use your voice as much as others do. Or maybe, you’re the first one to speak and are comfortable being the center of attention. To the latter, I promise this blog post isn’t my personal vendetta against you. To each of you, you’re IRREPLACEABLE just the way you are. It feels trite to say that because I know it is so unoriginal. But truly, the Lord sees you.

A friend more eloquently wrote, “You are a piece of the puzzle of this world that no one else was created to be. You may be a corner piece. You may be the very center of the puzzle. Or maybe you are a piece of the sky and look like so many pieces around you. But don’t for one second think that is any less important. All of us together work as a body and the puzzle would not be complete if even one of us was missing.”  Please don’t let the puzzle be incomplete because you want to be someone other than you today.

Thanks again for stopping by for this week’s Womanly Wednesday!  If you would be interested in writing a Womanly Wednesday guest post of your own, please send me an email with your information and a summary of what you might like to share.  It would be an honor to have your voice and your story on the blog!

I’m linking back to this post at Imparting Grace, Embracing His Will, A Life In Balance, Purposeful Faith, A Fresh Start On A Budget, What Joy Is Mine, The Beauty In His Grip, Strangers And Pilgrims On Earth, Soul Survival, Me Coffee and Jesus, Women With Intention, A Little R & R, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Coffee For Your Heart,Serving Joyfully, 3D Lessons 4 Life, The Deliberate Mom, Dance With Jesus,Missional Women, Busy Being Blessed, Live Free Thursdays, Whole Hearted Wednesdays, Thriving Thursdays, Christian Mommy Bloggers, Still Saturdays, and Modest Mondays.