Letting stories unfold around the table
This weekend marked two months of life for our sweet boy! I have learned so much in these last two months and it’s been so fun to learn to be his mama. Overall he is a sweet, curious little thing who loves to snuggle, eat as often and as much as possible, and take in the world around him with wide open eyes. We sure do love being his parents! Here are a few updates from month two of Caleb’s life.
My best friend Haley is an amazingly talented photographer who has documented just about every important part of our life (I’m not kidding…she’s taken pics of our proposal and engagement pictures, parts of our wedding, our pregnancy announcement, our maternity photos, and lots of other pics along the way!). So when she came out to visit and meet the newest member of our family, we were so excited to have her take some newborn pics of our sweet little man!
Taking these pictures was quite the adventure since newborns don’t exactly cooperate with any schedule but their own. These sweet ones of him sleeping were some of the first ones we took and they are pretty much too angelic for words. I mean…look at that sweet face!
It’s been quite a while since I’ve done one of these Friday posts and I’m glad to be back in the game! I’ll be sharing an update on how this blogging maternity leave has been next week, but now that little man is napping more I’m finding a bit more time to sit down and write. I am excited to get back into the swing of things and start writing more posts and updates soon. For now, here’s an update on the last week or two in the English house!
This past weekend my best friend Haley came to visit to meet Caleb and catch up. It was so, so good to have her here! I loved getting to catch up on life, eat yummy donuts at KC’s new Donut Lounge, and snuggle our sweet little man. Haley was a baby whisperer and Caleb fell asleep so quickly in her arms! It was crazy to think back to when we were freshmen in college wearing silly outfits and staying up for late night dorm adventures. Now we’re swapping travel stories and snuggling our babies! It’s crazy how the time flies and I am so grateful for this girl who’s been with me through it all.
As of this weekend, we have officially survived the first six weeks of being parents. I had lots of people tell me the first six weeks are the hardest and if we could survive them, we might just make it through the next 18 years (or something like that).
Like I shared in this post about how motherhood challenges my perfectionist self, this new journey into motherhood has had its share of challenges. But in all honesty, it hasn’t been as impossible as I thought it would be. There were a few things we did to make those first 6 weeks more manageable and they made all the difference in our hearts and our transition into parenthood If you are having a baby sometime soon, I hope you’ll make these same decisions and give yourself the space to heal and process the new world of being a parent.
I think one reason we survived these first six weeks was we had so much support from our friends and family. Jordan was off work from a week, my mom came and stayed for a week, my mother-in-law took a few days off work to come stay with me, my mom came again, friends brought dinner, and the list goes on and on. Any time someone asked to come fold laundry or snuggle the baby while I napped, I said YES without hesitating. Letting go of my pride and accepting help in those first few weeks made all the difference in my physical recovery from labor and my emotional transition into motherhood.
I loved having Grandma in town!
Annie of The Free and Wild Blog is a blogging friend who in so many ways has become a real-life friend too. We have lots of mutual real life friends and I have grown to love this girl’s honesty, sense of humor, and deep heart for people to find hope and joy in the midst of their struggles. I learn so much from her and am so grateful she was willing to share her tips and suggestions in this post!
Dealing with anxiety and depression on any level can be one of the hardest things anyone can face in this crazy life. When you’re going through a journey of mental illness, it can feel incredibly overwhelming, confusing, isolating—like it will never end.
But it can be even more confusing and overwhelming for those on the sideline in the life of someone struggling with mental illness. You may not know what to say or do, because it’s uncomfortable and awkward. Friends are not themselves. The smiles and laughers are gone, and you are met with quiet, blank stares, hysterical tears or self-depreciating comments that are so stubborn that they will not budge no matter how many compliments you shower them with. It can be tempting to walk away.
It’s been a little over a month since we had Caleb (you can read his birth story here), and like any mama knows well, my heart has been broken and stretched and grown in a million ways since he arrived. I feel invigorated and exhausted, overjoyed and overwhelmed, head over heels in love and desperate for some alone time. But maybe the best word to describe my emotional state these last few weeks? Terrifyingly, achingly vulnerable.
I am a perfectionist to my core and I love doing things well. I love feeling on top of things, feeling in control and successful in everything I do. So this whole motherhood thing? It’s rocking my world a bit. It’s one of the few times in my life where I am doing something that is completely new to me. I’ve held a few babies in my day but that’s nothing compared to the ups and downs of taking care of a newborn around the clock.
As I think through and process all the ways that motherhood is humbling me and exposing my needs for control and success, these five situations come to mind.
Ever since high school, I’ve been part of an amazing ministry called Young Life. I remember being thrown into the backseat of a car and taken to club my freshman year, and I loved it from the start. We sang songs and played silly games, heard a short message, and just got the chance to feel like kids for a little bit. Then I went to summer camp for a week, and my life would never be the same.
I could go on and on about Young Life and how it’s impacted my life, but here’s what you should know for now: for the first time, I realized what the call to go and make disciples truly meant, and I’ve been living that out ever since. From leading as a college student, teacher, and then as a wife, ministry has always been a part of my young adulthood. You may have ideas of what married ministry looks like, but here’s the truth.
Leading a ministry together as a young married couple is both the most exhausting and most wonderful experience. I truly do not know how people do it without both spouses being involved and on the same page. My sweet hubby, Aaron, and I found ourselves leading cabins at Young Life Camp just one month after we said “I do”. I should preface with the fact that we both lead youth ministry together when we were in college, so finding ourselves thrust into the mission field in our newlywed days didn’t come as much of a surprise.
We don’t know marriage without ministry. Period. But, truthfully, I don’t regret it for one second. I think it’s very easy to become selfishly obsessed with our own young marriages, as we navigate intimacy and partnership together for the first time. Not that we shouldn’t love our spouses deeply, like the gift from God that they are, but we can’t lose sight of our bigger meaning and purpose- one that is about more than just enjoying our spouse.
And for me, ministry has brought purpose to our marriage. I have seen the ways in which the Lord uses us to advance His kingdom and to bless others. I have truly gotten a glimpse of how we are stronger together than we are apart. I have held back tears as we lead fifty plus high school kids in worship. I have dug into the Bible in preparation for a message, and seen my husband be my biggest cheerleader. I have watched the Lord open doors in the most amazing ways, and allow us to be a small part of the huge plan He has in place.
Here are some of my very favorite things about leading a ministry together as a married couple:
There is so, so much to love about loving each other and loving a ministry that both of your hearts burn for. But, if I’m honest, being married and being in the mission field at the same time can have its struggles.
Here are some of the hard things about leading a ministry as a young married couple:
We are better people because of the time we’ve dedicated to ministry together. Yes, we’ve given up some Netflix time or hours we would’ve been sleeping, but the sacrifice has been oh so worth it. I am thankful that our marriage is stronger than ever, and we have worked to make sure that we do keep up with our own physical, spiritual and mental needs (and cherished date nights). If you’re in ministry, you must make sure to plan and give yourself times of rest and grace.
In the end, I have no doubt that the Lord has us right where He wants us. It has been amazing to see the way He has led us on and through this journey, and I’ve been so thankful to have Aaron right beside me the entire time. I can’t wait to see where the Lord takes us in the future, and I though I know that our roles within ministry will change, we are both excited about continuously being involved in and supporting ministries of some kind. Because telling others about Jesus, and helping spread His word is always worth it. No matter what.
Currently,
Kelsie
Kelsie is an energetic, extroverted wife, teacher, and follower of Christ who loves laughing, being outside, and going on adventures. She blogs over at Currently, Kelsie, where she is passionate about sharing stories, suggestions, and real conversation. Her mission is to love fiercely, learn fearlessly, and live fully in the midst of this crazy, ever-changing world. You can join her by following along on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.
When I read my friend Annie’s post about her reverse bucket list a while back, I fell in love with the idea. It’s so easy to dream about all the adventures we will enjoy one day and forget about all the amazing things we’ve already been able to do. Today, I’m rounding up some silly old pictures and sharing some stories about some of my favorite things I’ve crossed off my bucket list and done so far. Have you done any of these things?
True life…I grew up in Orange County, CA. I was in high school when The OC and Laguna Beach got super popular and it was always so funny to meet people from out of state who couldn’t believe I lived where those shows took place. I will say that my life wasn’t quite like those TV shows, even though we did practically live at the beach in the summer time!
Newport Beach – Our daily summer destination once we all could drive!
This weekend marks one month since little Caleb made his appearance into the world (you can read the story of his birth HERE). Like I had shared about in this post, I had all sorts of fears about what these first few weeks with him would look like. Even though I have some experience with little ones, caring for the 24 hour needs of a new baby is a new world for anyone! And you know what? It hasn’t been as crazy as we thought!
I’m excited to occasionally use this space to document how life with our little man is going, so I’ll break this post down into a few sections covering the highlights (and challenges) of learning to be his mama.
Like I shared about in his birth story, Caleb made his appearance into the world pretty quickly. The moments of pushing were relatively calm and peaceful, and when they finally lay him on my chest it felt completely surreal. I’ll be honest – I didn’t burst into tears or feel this overwhelming sense of love wash over me. More than that, I just felt a sense of peace and relief. I have felt myself starting to fall in love with him more and more each day since then, but in that first moment I felt a sense of peace and a quiet, sweet knowledge that this little life was now mine (and ours) to protect, hold, and take care of.
I’ve just found Chelsea’s blog recently, but I’m a big fan of her heart that women would find joy, contentment, and creativity in their everyday lives. Make sure to pop over to her blog, Heart Natured, to get to know her better!
This is one of those “broken record” lessons for me. Do you have those? You know, the lessons or convictions that seem to cycle around more than once in a given life season?
I ran track in high school and a little in college, and God used it to teach me a good bit. I learned how to discipline myself, how to fight through discomfort, how to be a good teammate, how to find peace in Him when I was nervous, but also how to run well in my own lane.
In the world today, and especially as a female, I have to be proactive against comparing myself to others. If I’m lazy about it, I find myself digging a deep hole without even realizing it. I’ve started asking God to create in me a habit of attentiveness to moments my brainless emotions begin playing the comparison game. It is difficult sometimes, but I believe it’s a worthy battle.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes have a running inner dialogue going on. I confess it’s often encouraging, and sometimes sassy. When it comes to running in my own lane (on a good day), it often sounds like this:
Self, you are not naturally gifted in that way. Stop feeling guilty about it.
Quit judging yourself so intensely, girlfriend! Give a little grace.
Everyone is a work in progress, sister, you’re not expected to do things as she is doing them.
Can anyone relate?
Someone challenged me recently, “run in your own lane,” and I began to honestly think about what it practically looks like for me to do that.
I would make a terrible you, and you would make a terrible me! God designed us so creatively and specifically, with different plans and passions and goals, and that’s a wonderful thing! And it’s kind of freeing, if you asking me, the fact that I am not expected to do exactly what she’s doing, and I’m not expected to know all of the facts that he knows, etc. Right? Freedom.
And isn’t is fascinating that God thinks about us each individually. Jeremiah 29:11, a popular verse, speaks about God thinking thoughts toward me. These aren’t generic, universal thoughts for the whole planet, but for me specifically.
“Let your eyes look straight ahead, and your eyelids look right before you. Ponder the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established. Do not turn to the right or the left.” Proverbs 4:25-27
Running in my own lane helps me focus on the step in front of me, and gives my life the room to make Jesus known, instead of striving for my absence to be felt. Keeping my eyes on Jesus alone, instead of those on either side of me, will bring far more joy and peace and freedom to my life. Which, if I may be so bold, is what I think we all truly desire.
What do you think? What does ‘run in your own lane’ mean to you?
