Heart Stuff

3 Truths That Are Helping Me To Love My Pregnant Body

November 2, 2015 By Lauren

Since I was a lanky and insecure 13 year old standing in front of the mirror and watching my friends compare themselves to each other, I’ve seen ONE issue that it seems like women from every age and stage can struggle with: body image. It seems like no girl is safe from the fear of being too skinny, too fat, too much, or somehow not enough when it comes to their physical appearance.

I’ll be honest…body image has never been one of my biggest struggles. I’ve walked side by side with friends as they wrestled deeply with insecurities about their weight and appearance, but my deepest insecurities have pretty much always been tied to my personality. As a gifted “smart kid” who grew up a bit nerdy, I always feared that I wasn’t fun enough, outgoing enough, or funny enough for my peers to like me. Body image wasn’t really on my radar, even after college and as I gained a few pounds in the years post college.

And then I got pregnant.

Body Shaming And Comparison In Pregnancy

5 weeks pregnant

[Read more…]

Overcoming Busyness: Why No Is Our New Favorite Word

October 19, 2015 By Lauren

When we catch up with the people we know and share life with, the question “How are you guys doing?” is often met with one consistent answer: BUSY. The people we love are working their you-know-what’s off at entry level jobs, going to school, and navigating the new waters of grownup relationships, marriages, and even the first few years of parenthood. And in the midst of all that, they are getting oh so tired of asking the same questions over and over: When will we catch up? When will this season end?

This fall, our schedules have seemed a little fuller too and we’ve been feeling the crunch of busy. Jordan is coaching high school cross-country, which means he leaves our house at 5:45 AM for morning practice and doesn’t usually get home until 5:45 PM. Combine that with my pouring time into blogging, teaching, and experiencing all the ups and downs of growing a tiny human, and our days and lives have felt a lot busier these last few months.

[Read more…]

Why It’s Dangerous To Shame Another Woman’s Feelings

October 12, 2015 By Lauren

Since I started blogging last April, I’ve tried to be intentional about what I choose to post about. I never want to write in a way that seeks to incite controversy just for the sake of inciting it. It seems like the internet isn’t a safe place to disagree with people while still loving them so I’ve just avoided more opinionated posts. But when I read 2-3 articles with similar messages over the last few weeks, I got a little upset. So with all the grace in the world and knowing that not everyone will agree with me on this one, I decided to respond.

Here’s a very short summary of one of the articles (and the other two were pretty similar): The author was out at a public place and overheard a pregnant woman talking to a friend. The pregnant woman was sharing about her pregnancy and told her friend that she had cried when she found out they were having another boy.

[Read more…]

Seven Practical Tips To Grow And Deepen Your Adult Friendships

October 5, 2015 By Lauren

When I wrote a post a few months back about six reasons I struggled to find friends after college, it quickly became one of my most popular posts. Women from all life stages commented and shared how hard it had been for them to find and grow authentic, deep friendships, especially in the years of raising littles. We struggle to find not only the time to pursue women friendships, but also to find ways to grow these friendships into deep, lasting relationships we can rely on instead of just acquaintances.

Even so, I believe that having women in our lives with whom we can share the good and the hard is extremely important. When I don’t have female friends, I’m quick to put the heavy burden of filling all my relational needs on my husband or family, and that’s just not fair to them or me. Growing friendships is hard but worth it and these practical tips to grow and deepen your adult friendships are things I’ve seen to be helpful as I navigate the confusing world of grownup friendships.

[Read more…]

Sexual Assault, Suicide, and Finding Healing

September 24, 2015 By Lauren

Even though today isn’t a Womanly Wednesday, when my friend Brittany emailed me about sharing her story my answer was a resounding YES. I’ve known this girl since we were in middle school and remember walking with her through lots of what she describes in this post. The realities of sexual assault and its devastating consequences are absolutely heartbreaking and I hate that one in four college women experience this to some degree. Brittany, thank you for sharing your story of pain, darkness, and ultimately, healing. You are more than a survivor – you are a radiant, courageous, and strong woman and it’s an honor to know you.

It’s been seven years and as each year goes by I tell less and less people because although it is apart of my past it does not define me.

Seven years ago, I was sexually assaulted at my first college campus. I refer to it as “the incident.” Yes, I was drinking. Well, to say that is an understatement, I was wasted, smashed; I could barely stand. I was wearing a cute party dress with tights and high heels because like any other 18 year old who wanted to party, I was dressed for the night.

[Read more…]

What To Do When You Feel Like A Fake Grownup

September 21, 2015 By Lauren

When I would watch movies of adults living out their marriages, families, and careers, I felt like they had figured out the secret to being a grownup. I imagined that when I graduated or got married or got my first job, I would feel capable and mature like they did and would be more than ready to take on the challenges that each of these new life stages would bring.

But when those big life milestones came and went and I kept moving forward into adulthood, I didn’t magically feel grownup and confident. I just felt like the same me I’d always been, except I was wearing a graduation cap or a wedding dress or staring shocked at a positive pregnancy test at 4 AM on a July morning.

On Feeling Like A Fake Grownup Pregnancy Announcement

Source: Haley George Photography

[Read more…]

Three Reasons To Share The Struggles You’ve Been Hiding

September 6, 2015 By Lauren

Since I was in high school, I have always been little miss cheerful: always happy and smiling and always the one to listen to other people’s issues instead of trying to complain or focus on my own. But underneath the smile and the sweet exterior, I wrestled deeply with feelings of shame and unworthiness. I was scared for my messy heart to be revealed so I bottled all my struggles up inside, positive that if I shared what I was wrestling with with anyone else, they would confirm all the thoughts running on repeat in my head: I’m too much, too emotional, not worthy of love or belonging.

High school Lauren worked at Build a Bear, loved Christmas, and apparently wrote the word “thug” on her fingers.

[Read more…]

Learning To Take My Blogging Dreams Seriously

September 2, 2015 By Lauren

Waaaaaay back in April when I started this blog (okay, I know that’s actually just a few months ago), I was a little nervous. I’ve always loved reading blogs and they’ve been such an encouragement to me in both hard and joyful seasons. Bloggers like Glennon at Momastery or Lisa-Jo at Lisa-Jo Baker have created beautiful, real, online communities where women can share their hearts, even when they’re messy, and I admire them so much.

As I moved out of a hard few years of adjusting to post-college life, I knew I wanted to do something creative that would use my creative energy and help me to process all the thoughts and emotions swirling around my head. A blog seemed like the perfect space for that! I learned so much in that month of creating and designing the blog before it launched and have continued to learn a ton as I’ve started to blog consistently these last few months.

[Read more…]

Testimony Tuesday: Fighting For Healing

September 1, 2015 By Lauren

When I graduated college a few years back, it seemed like I had everything lined up for me. I was headed to Kansas City to finally be in the same city as my long-distance boyfriend of two years, I had a teaching job lined up, and would start classes for my Master’s degree in education soon after I arrived. That boyfriend soon became my fiancé, and after a whirlwind seven months of teaching, wedding planning, and night classes, we got married.

From the outside, everything was perfect. But from the inside? My heart was aching.

[Read more…]

Six Reasons I Struggled To Find Friends After College

August 17, 2015 By Lauren

True confession: I have never been that good at girl friendships. From my elementary days when I was painfully shy to my middle and high school days where girl friendships left me wounded and confused, I’ve always felt like girl friendships were more complicated and sometimes just not worth the pain. When I went to college, I was wrestling with deep feelings of shame and fears that the girls I met would think I was too much or annoying in some way.

But oh my goodness was I blown away by the women I met! The girls on my floor (and some of the surrounding floors) pursued me, loved me, and rallied around my broken, scared self in so many ways. They taught me how to love and be loved, how to be silly and enjoy each other’s company while still sharing the deepest, hardest parts of our stories and our days. I loved those girls so much, and cried with my head against the car window as I drove away from Davidson and into a new life with my soon-to-be fiancé/husband.