Marriage

Six Intentional Practices To Slow Down Life In 2017

January 23, 2017 By Lauren

If I had to choose a few words to define our lifestyle, I would select slow, intentional, and joyful. We want our schedules to be open so that we have time for the spontaneous, ordinary moments of relationship, family, and community that make life worth living. We’ve already done so much to try to hold on to a slow pace of life, but as I look ahead at 2017, I know I still have some areas where I can grow.

These are six things I’m hoping to incorporate into my daily life as we move further into 2017. They might not be that original or even specific, but I am excited to see how God will use these things to draw me into deeper intimacy with Him and with the people I love!

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25 Reflection Questions To Ask Your Spouse

December 12, 2016 By Lauren

There is no quicker way to my heart than a cheesy, deep question. When we started dating, Jordan quickly discovered if he wanted to keep his girl happy, he just needed to ask question after question – especially ones that gave us a chance to talk about all the reasons we liked each other. You know, cute, new relationship kind of stuff. 😉

Over the past few years, Jordan and I have started spending some time over Christmas break reflecting back on the last year and dreaming about our hopes for the years that lie ahead. This time isn’t always super structured and usually happens over all-you-can-eat sushi in California or on chilly winter walks, but we love to reflect back on all that we shared that year.

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How We’re Creating Meaningful Family Traditions For Our First Holiday Season As Parents

November 17, 2016 By Lauren

I love the Christmas season as much as the next girl, and having a baby makes it all the more special this year. Everything we do, from decorations and treats to gatherings and celebrations, is shaping the memories that Caleb will have of his childhood Christmases. It adds a new joy and a new weight to this season and we are trying to be intentional in our choices and our celebrations. Even though I’m sure our traditions will evolve as Caleb gets older or we eventually add to our family, but these are five things we are doing to be intentional in this first Christmas with our boy.

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The Four Words I Refuse To Say When I’m Hurting

November 7, 2016 By Lauren

I’ve hinted in some recent posts that it’s been a bit of a discouraging season with Caleb, and I’ve wrestled with control, fear, and shame way more than I’d like to admit these last few months. With my husband gone for work all day and long hours with an exhausted baby who just wouldn’t sleep, my heart has felt a bit all over the place.

As I’ve read blog posts and articles by moms in similar places, I’ve been so struck by some of the comments when women share their struggles. I’ve seen some version of a particular phrase over and over and I’ve been thinking about that phrase quite a bit: It could be worse.

“Oh you think it’s bad that your little one won’t nap? My guy is still waking up every two hours at night!”

“You’re discouraged because your kid won’t sleep past 4:45 AM? At least you have a baby and he’s healthy. You should be grateful!”

“You’re feeling lonely in these long days at home? Imagine if your husband was gone in the military or worked nights – then you’d really be miserable!”

These kinds of comments could be made about any struggle – issues at work, in marriage, in trying to start a family, broken relationships, and so much more. But at the heart of all these responses is the same idea: “You think ______ is hard? It could be MUCH worse.”

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Five Unexpected Things About Marriage After Baby

September 6, 2016 By Lauren

When I wrote this post back in January about my fears about motherhood, one of the biggest ones was how having a baby would impact our marriage. How would we handle the sleep deprivation and new responsibilities? How would having a little one impact our intimacy, emotional and otherwise? What would life look like as a family of three instead of just us?

If I had to answer those questions in January, I would have guessed it would be pretty hard. I would have guessed that things would be tense, that we would feel some distance grow between us as we figured out our new normal. I would have guessed that we’d have significantly less time together and would see some challenges arise because of that.

And you know what? I would have been completely wrong.

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How I’m Fighting The Pressure To Be Productive

June 7, 2016 By Lauren

We’re coming up on almost four months since our son was born, and for the first time, I feel like we’re starting to have a bit of a routine. Caleb’s getting more consistent in his naps (even if they are just 45-50 minutes long) and my weeks are starting to follow a bit more predictable pattern. This is what I’ve been craving for so long, but this week I started to notice something a little strange in my heart: a frenzied desire to get things done.

Whenever Caleb went down for a nap, I found my mind spinning with ideas of how I should use that 45 minutes. I’d open up my computer and try to find something to do that felt purposeful, something that made me feel productive and useful and busy.

I couldn’t point to one specific reason why I feel this urge to be productive, but it is deeply engrained in who I am. Somewhere along the way I started believing that the worth of a day is measured in how many items I can cross of my to-do list.

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A Three-Year Anniversary Letter To My Husband

May 23, 2016 By Lauren

My Dear Hubby,

This weekend marks three years of marriage and 5.5 years of dating and that feels so surreal. Remember back when we were two college kids, making milkshakes at a Young Life camp and dreaming about what life would hold after graduation?

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The Truth About Being Married And In Ministry

March 28, 2016 By Lauren

Ever since high school, I’ve been part of an amazing ministry called Young Life. I remember being thrown into the backseat of a car and taken to club my freshman year, and I loved it from the start. We sang songs and played silly games, heard a short message, and just got the chance to feel like kids for a little bit. Then I went to summer camp for a week, and my life would never be the same.

I could go on and on about Young Life and how it’s impacted my life, but here’s what you should know for now: for the first time, I realized what the call to go and make disciples truly meant, and I’ve been living that out ever since. From leading as a college student, teacher, and then as a wife, ministry has always been a part of my young adulthood. You may have ideas of what married ministry looks like, but here’s the truth.

Leading a ministry together as a young married couple is both the most exhausting and most wonderful experience. I truly do not know how people do it without both spouses being involved and on the same page. My sweet hubby, Aaron, and I found ourselves leading cabins at Young Life Camp just one month after we said “I do”. I should preface with the fact that we both lead youth ministry together when we were in college, so finding ourselves thrust into the mission field in our newlywed days didn’t come as much of a surprise.

We don’t know marriage without ministry. Period. But, truthfully, I don’t regret it for one second. I think it’s very easy to become selfishly obsessed with our own young marriages, as we navigate intimacy and partnership together for the first time. Not that we shouldn’t love our spouses deeply, like the gift from God that they are, but we can’t lose sight of our bigger meaning and purpose- one that is about more than just enjoying our spouse.

And for me, ministry has brought purpose to our marriage. I have seen the ways in which the Lord uses us to advance His kingdom and to bless others. I have truly gotten a glimpse of how we are stronger together than we are apart. I have held back tears as we lead fifty plus high school kids in worship. I have dug into the Bible in preparation for a message, and seen my husband be my biggest cheerleader. I have watched the Lord open doors in the most amazing ways, and allow us to be a small part of the huge plan He has in place.

The Joys Of Leading A Ministry Together

Here are some of my very favorite things about leading a ministry together as a married couple:

Inviting kids into our home. Some of them have never had a home-cooked meal or conversation around a table before.
Modeling marriage and healthy relationships for them. Though we aren’t perfect, we are rooted in our faith and love for our Lord and each other. It’s been fun for kids to notice our joy, our humor, and how much fun we have together as we seek to love them. And they do notice.
Sharing our own dating experiences (within reason) to help teens navigate relationships of their own amidst the lies of this world. We have a happy ending that can give them hope that it will be worth it in the end for them to stand by their values and faith.
Inviting kids to be a part of our family (both spiritual and Earthly). Showing them that they are loved and valued and known is amazing. We may not have any biological kids, but we have hundreds of others.
Keeping the big picture in mind. Little meaningless disagreements don’t seem so big when you’re focusing on sharing the Gospel with kids week after week. And you don’t really care about having cable or the nicest house when you’re investing in kids’ eternities.

There is so, so much to love about loving each other and loving a ministry that both of your hearts burn for. But, if I’m honest, being married and being in the mission field at the same time can have its struggles.

The Struggles Of Leading A Ministry Together

Here are some of the hard things about leading a ministry as a young married couple:

It takes a lot of time and energy. It can be exhausting.
Finding a ministry and life balance can be hard. We often find that we have to travel in order to truly feel a break from the stress and busy schedule that comes along with ministry, which makes our travel adventures even more special.
It can be lonely. Friends assume you are too busy to hang out, and so they don’t ask you to. Our schedules are more free than people think. Thankfully, we always have each other, and are truly best friends.
You care about and love so many kids that your heart aches for all of them. When they make bad choices, it weighs on you. When they are lost, it hurts. When you see them mess up, you feel responsible.
You know that eventually your role in the ministry will have to change as you age (and when kiddos come along some day), and that can be hard. Especially if the ministry is sort of your “baby”.

We are better people because of the time we’ve dedicated to ministry together. Yes, we’ve given up some Netflix time or hours we would’ve been sleeping, but the sacrifice has been oh so worth it. I am thankful that our marriage is stronger than ever, and we have worked to make sure that we do keep up with our own physical, spiritual and mental needs (and cherished date nights). If you’re in ministry, you must make sure to plan and give yourself times of rest and grace.

In the end, I have no doubt that the Lord has us right where He wants us. It has been amazing to see the way He has led us on and through this journey, and I’ve been so thankful to have Aaron right beside me the entire time. I can’t wait to see where the Lord takes us in the future, and I though I know that our roles within ministry will change, we are both excited about continuously being involved in and supporting ministries of some kind. Because telling others about Jesus, and helping spread His word is always worth it. No matter what.

Currently,
Kelsie

Kelsie is an energetic, extroverted wife, teacher, and follower of Christ who loves laughing, being outside, and going on adventures. She blogs over at Currently, Kelsie, where she is passionate about sharing stories, suggestions, and real conversation. Her mission is to love fiercely, learn fearlessly, and live fully in the midst of this crazy, ever-changing world. You can join her by following along on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Conquering Comparison In The Pre-Motherhood Years And Beyond

March 14, 2016 By Lauren

Today’s post is by my friend, Hannah of Just Bee. I’ve gotten to know her a lot these last few months and I love how her deep, encouraging heart shines through in her writing. Make sure to check out her blog for lots of pretty pictures and wisdom on everything from marriage and relationships to blogging and photography!

I’ve thought a lot about seasons lately. Perhaps it’s because of all the snow days we’ve been getting here in Minnesota 🙂 but I’ve been struck by the bigger picture lately too – the narrative of life seasons.

Sometimes, we find ourselves caught up in a season that’s just plain busy! We rush from one task to the next, watching a new to-do list materialize as soon as another one is completed! For a lot of people, this craziness is the high school or college season.

But other times, we discover we are in a period of waiting or abiding. And since waiting often comes after a busy season, it can feel downright uncomfortable and foreign! I love the quote by Jess Connolly that a friend of mine shared on Instagram: “There are years for crazy big strides. Graduation, marriage, babies. And there are years for quiet, day-in-day-out stewardship.”

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How Parenting Can Strengthen Your Marriage

March 7, 2016 By Lauren

Today’s guest post is by my friend Amberly of A Prioritized Marriage. I love her heart to see marriages thrive and grow in every way and her blog is full of great resources on everything from parenting and intimacy to managing finances and communications. Make sure to pop over and check out her blog!

Whether you’re having your first kid or your sixth, the addition of a new baby to the family is an event that can bring stress to your marriage. I will be the first to tell you that parenthood is one of the most challenging stages to adjust to in your marriage. It will stretch you as a couple and as an individual and at times, it will feel like you’ve given all that you can possibly give.

Even though parenthood can be hard, it is also one of the most exciting and rewarding adventures that you will ever embark on in your marriage. Becoming parents will challenge your relationship more than you ever thought possible. Working together in this new stage of life will also strengthen your relationship and make you a better team in every other area of your marriage.