Caleb’s Six Month Update

Six months.  Wow wow wow.  It’s been over half a year since I headed to the hospital for this little guy’s rapid delivery (have you read his birth story yet?) and I feel like it’s gone oh so slow and flown by at the same time.  This month has had lots of joy but lots of struggles, so if you’ve got a minute to read some long-winded ramblings…enjoy!

The Numbers

Caleb is our little peanut and I secretly I love that he’s still a little guy who fits in the curve of my arms. He’s weighing in at 14.5 lbs and measuring 25.5 inches, putting him at about the 5th-10th percentile weight and 10th-25th percentile for height.  The doctor said he’s gaining fine since he was small to begin with (he’s more than doubled his birth weight, which is the goal by six months!) and that noggin of his is still in the 95th percentile, so he’s doing great! He’s still rocking 3-6 month onesies/tops and 0-3 month bottoms because anything else falls off his teeny little waist.  This is exactly how Jordan was as a kid (and he still pretty much is) so we’re not surprised at all!

Some Milestones

In the last month, Caleb’s curiosity and interest in the world around him have grown IMMENSELY.  It is crazy to watch! One of my baby apps said he’s developing self-agency, or the realization that he wants certain things and he can move his body to get those things he wants.  What this means in real life is that he is now a wiggly, grabby, all over the place little guy and changing his diaper or clothes is like wrestling an alligator! He is constantly arching his head and back so he can reach out and grab anything he can find, knocking stuff off the changing table, tipping over my water bottle while I eat lunch, and trying to get his sticky little hands on everything he can reach. Even though it’s a little maddening at times, it’s pretty stinking cute too and I love how he’s so curious about the world around him.

This grabbiness is only intensified by the fact that he’s starting to be a little more mobile! He can pretty easily roll from belly to back and has rolled from back to belly a few times too, although back to belly is still tricky because his arm gets stuck.  He’ll occasionally pull up his legs under him and propel himself forward a few inches, but he’s still pretty far from crawling.  He can sit up with some help around his waist, but that 95th percentile head makes him a bit top heavy if we leave him unassisted for more than a second or two!

Since he is able to sit and hold his head with support, I officially flipped him around to sit in the stroller on our walks.  He’s been absolutely adorable and just waves his arms and takes in the world as we walk!

What He’s Liking

Caleb loves to move around and is so content when we lay him on his activity mat and let him roll from side to back to belly to side and all over the place.  He loves to look out windows and watch the world go by and has been a pretty big fan of when I run errands or shop with him in a carrier so he can take in the world while safely strapped to his mama.  He’s been loving faces lately and when I take him out of his crib and walk him downstairs, he’ll pull his head back so he can see my face, cup my cheeks in his little hands, and give me a big ol’ smile as he stares into my eyes.  Melt. My. Heart.

Check out this post to see all the pictures from our family photo shoot with my friend Haley!

He’s also been quite the talker lately.  If he has his fingers or a toy in his mouth he just starts chatting away with his gargly little voice and we almost always stop what we’re doing to crack up quietly at him.  He especially does this when he’s lying in his crib, and those few minutes of talking himself to sleep before naps are something I never want to forget!

Lastly, Caleb has discovered a new very important being in his life: his puppy! He’s been reaching for Olive and grabbing a fistful of her skin and fur and pulling as hard as he can to get closer to her. Luckily she’s about as patient as they come and just looks at us like, “Really guys?”

What He’s Disliking

He is still a little sensitive to loud noises and big groups of people, so the couple weddings we’ve taken him to have been a bit overwhelming for him.  He still doesn’t love tummy time for more than five minutes and will start to fuss.  Other than that, he’s pretty darn easygoing and loves to just hang out and watch the world go by!

How He’s Eating

We have made it to six months of exclusively breastfeeding and I am really excited about that! Six months was my goal and now I’m hoping we can continue it on to a year.  Since his naps are still so short (see below), Caleb is still eating about every 2-2.5 hours during the day, and he is officially the most distracted nurser in the entire world.  I swear if there is the tiniest movement or sound, he latches and unlatches, looks around, fusses for a second, then gets back to eating.  He’ll eat for 10 minutes one nursing session and 45 minutes the next.  He’s all over the place! I’m hoping this will get better with time but also know it might just be reality as he’s more socially aware.

I’ve given him little tiny bites of my sweet potato or avocado here or there, but next week we will officially start solid foods.  I’m still going back and forth between doing purees or baby led weaning and have a feeling I’ll end up doing a mixture of both.  Any mamas have any experience with that and want to share their advice? Considering that Caleb managed to get the less than 1/8 of a teaspoon of sweet potato I let him lick off my finger on 98% of his face and body, I have a feeing this is going to be a VERY messy journey either way.

How He’s Sleeping & A Parent Update

Oh man, y’all.  It has been a rough six weeks.

I mentioned in Caleb’s five month update that he was taking about four 45 minute naps during the day and starting to sleep 11-12 hours straight at night.  He was putting himself down for all his naps and was starting to do the same at bedtime (instead of nursing to sleep), but then some sort of switch flipped in him and began six weeks of craaaaaziness.

First he got sick and all of his naps shortened from 45-50 minutes to 30-35 minutes.  About a week later, he started fighting every single nap with all of his little being, screaming hysterically and only napping in the swing or while nursing.  He soon started to fight bedtime too, taking hours to fall asleep and then waking up progressively earlier and earlier in the mornings (like 3:30-4:30 AM) every morning.

I don’t know if it’s sleep regressions, teething, sickness, mental leaps, growth spurts, or one of the many other things than can disrupt sleep, but it has been really rough and I’m exhausted.  The first few months of Caleb’s life were challenging with the sleep deprivation and such but it always felt like he was moving forward – stretching out his wake times, learning to fall asleep on his own for naps, stretching out his night sleep into longer and longer intervals.  When it was hard, I just reminded myself of my own advice in this post about the newborn stage: nothing is permanent.  He’s constantly changing and each new phase led into a new one.

I think that’s why these last six weeks have been so hard.  It’s like he took ten giant steps back and I feel completely helpless to get him the rest I know he needs when I look at the little bags under his red eyes.  I’ve been so discouraged because I don’t know the balance of trusting that it’s a phase and he might just grow out of it versus doing what I can to help him stretch out his naps and get better night sleep.

Do I keep him awake longer so he’ll have more sleep pressure to nap longer or do I put him down earlier because he’s so overtired? Do I just keep doing what it takes to help him sleep or do I worry about creating lasting sleep associations? Is there something wrong with him that I’m not seeing like teething that’s hurting him, and if there is, what in the world can I do to help? Is the fact that he’s waking up for middle of the night feedings mean he’s not getting enough calories during the day? Is my milk supply enough?

I’ve felt so lost these last six weeks, and it’s been really stinking hard.

At this point, I’m trying to take it day by day.  Jordan is back to work so I’m on my own with Caleb and I’m doing everything I can to help him break the cycle of overtiredness.  We’re trying a couple different things to help him get sleep and he’s falling asleep much easier at bedtime now, which is great.  He’s been going to bed between 6:00-6:30 PM so he’d have LOTS of sleep and help him reset, even if he woke up super early, and I’ve already seen him start to stretch out that night sleep again, waking up happier and well-rested in the mornings and actually putting himself to sleep for naps again.  He’s still waking up to eat sometime between 3:30-5:00 AM.  I wouldn’t mind feeding him, but I’ve struggled to go back to sleep afterward, meaning I’m basically starting my day at 3:30 AM and am exhausted by the afternoon.

I know that this is all part of parenting and and I know that in a few months, he will probably be past this and on to something completely different.  But in the trenches of having a fussy, overtired baby, that knowledge doesn’t make it much easier.

I’ve been reading Philippians lately and have been clinging to this verse from Chapter 1:

“Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death.”

I’m trying to trust that we’re doing the best we can for our sweet, loving little boy, and there is no shame in not knowing the answers.  I’m trying to remember that God will ultimately use this for good, both in growing us and in growing our little one.  I’m trying to rejoice in the midst of the exhaustion and brokenness, because having a healthy little boy is a beautiful gift and I never want to lose sight of that.

This last month has been challenging and beautiful in so many ways, and I’ve been reminded of my own post from a while back about what we always give ourselves before a major life transition: grace and space.  As we move into the second half of our first year of parenting, I’m giving myself the space to be overwhelmed and exhausted and confused.  I’m giving myself the grace to be an imperfect mama who sometimes cries or gets unreasonably frustrated when that little cry pierces the darkness for another 3:30 AM wake up call.

And I’m remembering that having this sweet boy in our home, our family, and our hearts is the ultimate grace, a beautiful and sweet gift from the Father who loves us through it all.

Caleb, even if you never stop waking up in the middle of the night, if you always fuss and get distracted and drive us crazy, we will never, ever stop loving you with every part of who we are.  You’re our bubba, our sweet boy, the center of our world and we love you more than the moon and the stars.

Here’s to many more months and years of loving you and sharing life with you, my sweet boy.  You’re more than worth the lost sleep and you always will be.