Womanly Wednesday: Heartbreak And Its Worth

Welcome to this week’s Womanly Wednesday! In this series, different women share their struggles, bravely opening up about their stories so that other people would be inspired and encouraged.  Make sure to check out the Womanly Wednesday archives to read other posts from this series! 

A month before my 19th birthday, my boyfriend of 1.5 years left home to serve the people of South Korea for two years, and invite them to Christ. During this time we would only be able to communicate by handwritten letters, and occasional emails. To say it felt like the end of the world to my little teenage heart would be an understatement. I cried myself to sleep, missing him. And I remained adamant that I would “wait” for him, and we had plans to marry when he came back. But we also knew that it might not happen, and that two years was a long time.

Shortly after he left, I started my sophomore year at college, and made some amazing friends. Through one of them, I met a boy. We’ll call him Steven. From the moment we bumped into each other at his family’s cabin in early spring, I was smitten. We started Facebook messaging, which led to studying together at the library, which led to watching a movie at his house, which led to holding hands, which led to lunches on campus and late night chats. I fell fast and hard, and for the first time in the eight months since my boyfriend had left I thought to myself, “Maybe I could fall in love with some one else. Maybe there is some one else out there for me.” And that was scary and liberating all at the same time.

As these things do, especially when they happen so fast, this relationship ended up crashing and burning. I had had my heart broken before, in high school, in fact the same boy had done the breaking 3 times. (Do we ever really learn?) But I felt that surely since it was now my desire and goal to find a mate for life, wouldn’t that come easier than a high school relationship? Obviously not.

So I was heartbroken, and confused. Why would I have fallen for someone else, when it wasn’t going to work out? Why was I heartbroken yet again? Why am I going through this pain when this relationship should have been perfect?

The answer would soon come.

But first, let’s back up. At the same time that I started my sophomore year of college, about 7 or so months before I fell for Steven, I moved into a new apartment complex and started attending a new church congregation. Within a month, I met a man named Kyle. We became fast friends, with that friendship developing into what one might call a “best” friendship. He was my rock, the one I went to to vent, the one I went to for advice, the one who I could always count on. But, of course, we were just friends. I had my boyfriend, he had girl friends, and we were content in just enjoying each others company.

But.

But God.

But God placed Steven into my life, so I would learn that I could fall in love with someone other than my boyfriend who was currently in South Korea. But God placed me on a path that would lead me to the one for me, without me even knowing it.

Because He knows me.

He knows my brokenness. He knows my heart.

And He knows yours, too.

Six weeks after my heart was broken, Kyle and I decided to start dating. I was nervous, I was scared, I was fearful. But it just felt right. And I knew, that even if my heart got broken again, this was something I would never regret doing. I would never regret giving him, giving us, a chance. And I knew, because of my experience with Steven, that it was okay to fall in love with someone, who was not the boyfriend I had sent off to South Korea. It was okay to find someone new. It was okay to let my heart open up to some one else. It was okay to leave my meticulous plans at the door, and instead follow God’s plans for me.

And so, I took a leap of faith. Six weeks after that leap of faith, Kyle and I decided to get married. And about 9 months later, we were wed.

My story is not extreme. But it is my story. And it is my testimony. Through this heartbreak I learned the most important lesson — that He knows me. That He has set before me the perfect path, that I need not doubt Him or His plan for me. I learned that He loves me; that He will bind up my brokenness.

And He will bind up yours, too.

Britt is a stay-at-home momma by day and a blogger by naptime. She’s been married to Kyle since 2010 and has two children – Abe (2) and Eliza (9 months). As an introverted extrovert, she loves to read, write, and spend time with her family and friends. She has a degree in Human Development, her favorite colors are green, blue and gray, and she loves all the carbs. She’s a loyal friend, a follower of Christ, and a lover of learning.  Make sure to follow along with her on her blog, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, and Facebook!