Womanly Wednesday: A Guest Post On Mothering Through The Unexpected

Welcome to this week’s Womanly Wednesday! I met today’s guest poster when I moved to Kansas City a few years back.  She and her husband head up Young Life in the North Kansas City area and from the first moment I met her, I was so impressed by her wisdom, passion, and the way she deeply loves and fights for her family.  Her journey of learning to support her youngest son has been beautiful to watch, and I know mamas everywhere will relate to what it looks like to fight for our kids’ hearts and futures when all the obstacles seem stacked against us.  You can read more from Melissa over at her blog! Thanks for sharing your heart and your story, Melissa! 

I had my third child on my 31st birthday. Up until this moment motherhood was relatively easy for me. It was manageable and good. My oldest were 23 months apart. Life was predictable. I had a handle on this season of motherhood and babies. I wandered into this third child thing completely unprepared.

By the time, this little baby was 5 months old I knew something wasn’t right. I’d wake up in the morning with this nagging feeling. A few hours later I’d be in full denial mode telling myself “he’s okay”. On and on this went for months as things didn’t really get any better. One minute I’d be in a total panic and the next in total denial. My baby wasn’t moving. In fact, by 8 months old he hadn’t made any gross motor milestones. He couldn’t sit up or get up on his hands and knees. He wasn’t rolling over. He couldn’t bear any weight on his ankles.

By nine months, I had enough and walked up to a total stranger that was a early childhood educator. I said ” Would you please come to my house and evaluate my baby? I give you complete permission to be honest with me.” She was there the next day and called me a few days later to confirm what I already knew – this baby needed an intervention.

By 18 months he was diagnosed with apraxia of speech, a brain-based speech disorder.  Apraxia leaves a child unable to communicate. They know what they want to say, but can’t get the words out. We were enrolled in a state program for children with special needs. We had a full team of therapists and special education coordinators in our home all the time. We met with doctors, consulted with other experts, prayed, and worked with him constantly when therapists went home.  

By 2 years of age, we were told our son had a severe form of apraxia. He was only able to say a handful of sounds. No words. We communicated by sign language. A year later, at 3 years of age, he was still not able to speak any words. Progress was slow and painful.  Mack began to use a communication device (AAC) to speak to his classmates and family members. Our wonderful speech pathologists gently told us he would more than likely need to use this machine to communicate to his teachers and classmates through the first grade at the very least.

Our hearts were broken, but Mack had a different plan. A year later, at 4 years old,  he began to speak little by little. The words came slowly. He was mad and frustrated a lot. His teachers and therapists at his preschool surrounded and supported him in amazing ways. To this day, those women are my heros.

Today Mack is six and a spunky Kindergartner. He has friends and sits in a typical classroom. Yes, he still has his struggles and frustrations. Every year on our birthday I cry tears of exhaustion mixed with extreme gratefulness. Remember that old saying “it takes a village to raise a child” ?  I have literally lived out that little saying.

I don’t take for granted for one minute that the six year old before me is product of all the love and hard work of numerous Speech Therapists, Physical Therapists, Occupational Therapists, special education teachers, and coordinators. He has been loved on like no other kid on the planet. Our community of friends and family hugged him and spoke with him like he was just another typical child. They entered my home and our lives with open minds and open hearts. He is a child surrounded by unconditional love and acceptance. Even when it was uncomfortable or hard, together we’ve raised this child.

I am learning that this journey of motherhood we are on is not about being perfect. It is about being present. I am learning to give myself tons of grace to heal and grow when the seasons are tough. We are doing amazing things fellow mamas. Let’s celebrate one another and be thankful. Let us listen, but not rush solve. Let us be present and not quick to judge. Let’s be courageous in this journey and not fearful, having hope for a better tomorrow and courage to walk through whatever life hands us.

Because motherhood is something you can plan for until you can’t plan for it. This journey is really out of our hands. These children are not our own and we learn that in big and little ways all throughout our parenting journeys. We have to remember that our kids victories and trials are a part of a bigger picture. A story that is not our own. It is our job as parents is to trust God will work this story, this time of character building in their lives for His Glory in His time. We may never see how He will use these trials for HIS purpose, but I trust that HE will. I am forever grateful to be apart of His WORK.