Heart Stuff

Six Intentional Practices To Slow Down Life In 2017

January 23, 2017 By Lauren

If I had to choose a few words to define our lifestyle, I would select slow, intentional, and joyful. We want our schedules to be open so that we have time for the spontaneous, ordinary moments of relationship, family, and community that make life worth living. We’ve already done so much to try to hold on to a slow pace of life, but as I look ahead at 2017, I know I still have some areas where I can grow.

These are six things I’m hoping to incorporate into my daily life as we move further into 2017. They might not be that original or even specific, but I am excited to see how God will use these things to draw me into deeper intimacy with Him and with the people I love!

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How We’re Creating Meaningful Family Traditions For Our First Holiday Season As Parents

November 17, 2016 By Lauren

I love the Christmas season as much as the next girl, and having a baby makes it all the more special this year. Everything we do, from decorations and treats to gatherings and celebrations, is shaping the memories that Caleb will have of his childhood Christmases. It adds a new joy and a new weight to this season and we are trying to be intentional in our choices and our celebrations. Even though I’m sure our traditions will evolve as Caleb gets older or we eventually add to our family, but these are five things we are doing to be intentional in this first Christmas with our boy.

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The Four Words I Refuse To Say When I’m Hurting

November 7, 2016 By Lauren

I’ve hinted in some recent posts that it’s been a bit of a discouraging season with Caleb, and I’ve wrestled with control, fear, and shame way more than I’d like to admit these last few months. With my husband gone for work all day and long hours with an exhausted baby who just wouldn’t sleep, my heart has felt a bit all over the place.

As I’ve read blog posts and articles by moms in similar places, I’ve been so struck by some of the comments when women share their struggles. I’ve seen some version of a particular phrase over and over and I’ve been thinking about that phrase quite a bit: It could be worse.

“Oh you think it’s bad that your little one won’t nap? My guy is still waking up every two hours at night!”

“You’re discouraged because your kid won’t sleep past 4:45 AM? At least you have a baby and he’s healthy. You should be grateful!”

“You’re feeling lonely in these long days at home? Imagine if your husband was gone in the military or worked nights – then you’d really be miserable!”

These kinds of comments could be made about any struggle – issues at work, in marriage, in trying to start a family, broken relationships, and so much more. But at the heart of all these responses is the same idea: “You think ______ is hard? It could be MUCH worse.”

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5 Ways To Be Hospitable When You Have Kids

October 10, 2016 By Lauren

When we moved into our home two years ago, my husband and I both knew that hospitality would be important to us. Our marriage mission statement includes a section on inviting people into our hearts and our homes and we’ve loved doing that through hosting our church small group, having lots of people over for meals, and even being Airbnb hosts for a year.

But now that we have a little one, this whole hospitality business is a lot more complicated. Not only is our house a lot messier and full of colorful baby junk than it was before, constantly changing nap and bedtime schedules make planning specific times for meals or overnight guests especially challenging.

We are still learning what it looks like to have open, hospitable hearts and take care of the needs of our own family, but these are five little tricks I’ve discovered that make a big difference in keeping us accountable to our marriage mission statement and actually have people over for meals or to stay the night.

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Four Ways For Introverts To Grow Their Friendships

June 13, 2016 By Lauren

I’ve learned so much about myself and other people by thinking through where we lie on the introvert-extrovert scale. Where we fall in that spectrum affects our marriages, our friendships, and so much more! One of my most searched and popular posts is about what I’ve learned about living in an introvert-extrovert marriage, so I know I’m not alone in thinking through all of this.

I’m right in the middle of the introvert-extrovert spectrum – comfortable in social situations and not afraid to talk to new people, but I 100% get my energy from time alone and love being by myself. As I’ve jumped into the challenging journey of finding friends and community post-college, I’ve realized that my introverted nature is both a strength and a weakness. These are four things that I am trying to do to step out of my comfort zone and grow my friendships!

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How I’m Fighting The Pressure To Be Productive

June 7, 2016 By Lauren

We’re coming up on almost four months since our son was born, and for the first time, I feel like we’re starting to have a bit of a routine. Caleb’s getting more consistent in his naps (even if they are just 45-50 minutes long) and my weeks are starting to follow a bit more predictable pattern. This is what I’ve been craving for so long, but this week I started to notice something a little strange in my heart: a frenzied desire to get things done.

Whenever Caleb went down for a nap, I found my mind spinning with ideas of how I should use that 45 minutes. I’d open up my computer and try to find something to do that felt purposeful, something that made me feel productive and useful and busy.

I couldn’t point to one specific reason why I feel this urge to be productive, but it is deeply engrained in who I am. Somewhere along the way I started believing that the worth of a day is measured in how many items I can cross of my to-do list.

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Eight Practical Ways To Support Someone With Mental Illness

April 6, 2016 By Lauren

Annie of The Free and Wild Blog is a blogging friend who in so many ways has become a real-life friend too. We have lots of mutual real life friends and I have grown to love this girl’s honesty, sense of humor, and deep heart for people to find hope and joy in the midst of their struggles. I learn so much from her and am so grateful she was willing to share her tips and suggestions in this post!

Dealing with anxiety and depression on any level can be one of the hardest things anyone can face in this crazy life. When you’re going through a journey of mental illness, it can feel incredibly overwhelming, confusing, isolating—like it will never end.

But it can be even more confusing and overwhelming for those on the sideline in the life of someone struggling with mental illness. You may not know what to say or do, because it’s uncomfortable and awkward. Friends are not themselves. The smiles and laughers are gone, and you are met with quiet, blank stares, hysterical tears or self-depreciating comments that are so stubborn that they will not budge no matter how many compliments you shower them with. It can be tempting to walk away.

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Learning To Run In Your Own Lane

March 21, 2016 By Lauren

I’ve just found Chelsea’s blog recently, but I’m a big fan of her heart that women would find joy, contentment, and creativity in their everyday lives. Make sure to pop over to her blog, Heart Natured, to get to know her better!

This is one of those “broken record” lessons for me. Do you have those? You know, the lessons or convictions that seem to cycle around more than once in a given life season?

I ran track in high school and a little in college, and God used it to teach me a good bit. I learned how to discipline myself, how to fight through discomfort, how to be a good teammate, how to find peace in Him when I was nervous, but also how to run well in my own lane.

Learning To Run In Your Own Lane

In the world today, and especially as a female, I have to be proactive against comparing myself to others. If I’m lazy about it, I find myself digging a deep hole without even realizing it. I’ve started asking God to create in me a habit of attentiveness to moments my brainless emotions begin playing the comparison game. It is difficult sometimes, but I believe it’s a worthy battle.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes have a running inner dialogue going on. I confess it’s often encouraging, and sometimes sassy. When it comes to running in my own lane (on a good day), it often sounds like this:

Self, you are not naturally gifted in that way. Stop feeling guilty about it.

Quit judging yourself so intensely, girlfriend! Give a little grace.

Everyone is a work in progress, sister, you’re not expected to do things as she is doing them.

Can anyone relate?

Learning To Run In Your Own Lane

Someone challenged me recently, “run in your own lane,” and I began to honestly think about what it practically looks like for me to do that.

Running in my own lane means I take one step at a time, say Yes to God, and trust Him fully as He directs and orchestrates.
Running in my own lane means I cherish and make count the opportunities that come to me. Not everyone is the same (praise Him), so why spend energy copying another’s situation, and risk missing the wonder + grace of the moment in front of me?
Running in my own lane means I honor (not endure or tolerate or take for granted) my quirks, my passions, my life, and my tribe.
Running in my own lane helps me truly celebrate with others in their successes and extend genuine compassion/sympathy in their disappointments.
Running in my own lane means I treasure my particular, beautiful, ridiculous DNA, thank the Lord daily for rescuing me, and be a bright light during my days on earth.

I would make a terrible you, and you would make a terrible me! God designed us so creatively and specifically, with different plans and passions and goals, and that’s a wonderful thing! And it’s kind of freeing, if you asking me, the fact that I am not expected to do exactly what she’s doing, and I’m not expected to know all of the facts that he knows, etc. Right? Freedom.

Learning To Run In Your Own Lane

And isn’t is fascinating that God thinks about us each individually. Jeremiah 29:11, a popular verse, speaks about God thinking thoughts toward me. These aren’t generic, universal thoughts for the whole planet, but for me specifically.

“Let your eyes look straight ahead, and your eyelids look right before you. Ponder the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established. Do not turn to the right or the left.” Proverbs 4:25-27

Running in my own lane helps me focus on the step in front of me, and gives my life the room to make Jesus known, instead of striving for my absence to be felt. Keeping my eyes on Jesus alone, instead of those on either side of me, will bring far more joy and peace and freedom to my life. Which, if I may be so bold, is what I think we all truly desire.

What do you think? What does ‘run in your own lane’ mean to you?

Chelsea is the blogger behind Heart Natured. She’s been married to husband John for 1.5 years, enjoys running and reading, works as a graphic designer, and will never turn down a homemade chocolate chip cookie. Make sure to check her out on Twitter, Instagram, or Tumblr!

How This Blog Will Change After Baby Arrives

February 22, 2016 By Lauren

To all of my wonderful readers,

I am so glad I started blogging before we got pregnant because it has been an absolute joy to share the world of pregnancy and motherhood with all of you. I’ve loved all your comments, encouragement, advice, suggestions, and sweet words as I and we have navigated this crazy process of growing a tiny human.

I wanted to take a minute to sit down and talk through with you all a few of my dreams and ideas for what this blog will look like immediately after Caleb arrives how this space might change once I am a full-time mama.

First things first…

A Blogging Maternity Leave

I’m a big believer that some seasons are meant to be slow, that we are meant to rest and take a step back from good things so we can focus on the best things. I’d say that having our first child definitely falls into that category! As such, I’m planning on taking a step back and reducing my posting here, at least for the first few weeks after Caleb is born.

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25 Questions To Deepen Your Friendships

February 1, 2016 By Lauren

It only took about three months into my post-college, “adult” life for me to realize that grownup friendships are really stinking hard. It took work and planning to spend time with the few people I was getting to know and it was so easy to fall into a pattern of just “catching up” and making small talk when we did see each other (like I shared about in this post about six reasons I struggled to find friends after college).

Now if you’ve followed this blog or known me for more than about five minutes, you know I’m an introvert at heart. I love real conversations that dive deeply into the heaviest issues on our heart and nothing wears me out faster than long periods of small talk. As such, I’m all about asking real questions that give people a chance to open up and share about how they’re doing. It takes bravery and the risk of rejection to ask these questions, but I can think of no better way to deepen a friendship than to ask questions that clearly communicate your heart to know and love a person.